I loved your introduction. The idea of making the characters we have been reading about into pets is fantastic. Everyone loves cute animals and this is a good way to use that. I was immediately drawn into your intro and wanted to read more about each character. The description of each pet was great as well. I liked how they each got a paragraph that briefly and concisely explained who they were. I may adapt this strategy into my own introduction. I liked the pictures you included but I wanted more. It would have taken extra time but it would have been nice to see a picture of each pet next to its information. I would have also liked to see which character they relate to. Overall this was a great intro and I cannot wait to read about these animals and the adventures they go on
Maddie, when looking for an extra storybook to read, the title of yours caught my eye. I was thinking the title might be refereeing to animals and I was very excited to find out I was right. The pictures of your cat and dogs are too cute and I am excited to read about their adventures. I loved you descriptions of the personalities of Hershey, Skittle, Tootsie, and Waffle. Each animal really seems to have their own personality and background and I think their interactions and adventures together will make for an extremely cute storybook. I really like the layout of your storybook. I think it is very sleek and I am so glad you included the pictures of your animals and I hope you continue to add more in your future additions since they are so stinking cute. I also think your use of Buddha in teaching life lessons to the animal crew will be an adorable way to teach and explain the lessons Buddha taught.
Hi Maddie, I wonder if you like animals? Just kidding, I can see by your story that you are very passionate about your animals. I see also that you speak about them as if they were part of your family. If they could speak, I wonder what your animals would say? Wouldn’t it add a little spice to the story if you told us about the animals and then flipped the story into a dialog between the dog and the cats. Perhaps contradicting what the owner was saying to give the reader a cheap laugh. Also, I failed to see how you were incorporating the life of a Buddha into the characters. I thought that you were eluding to that in the beginning so my mind started to race about what animals would be thinking. If cats and dogs could be enlightened, what would their meditation exercises look like, or sound like? Just a thought, thanks for sharing your story though, very interesting.
One of my favorite things about this class is seeing how such old stories can be spun off into so many different directions, and I love that the direction you’re taking your storybook in seems like so much fun. You did a great job of setting each animal apart with a distinct personality and background; I’m not sure if each story will focus on a different animal or if they’ll get to interact with each other as a group, but if it’s that last option, I imagine the clash of personalities would make for an entertaining time. While I loved the introduction to the characters, I don’t really feel like I was introduced to what I should expect from the story itself, or that the stage was set for Buddha to appear and impart his wisdom. I was also curious why it was titled after only Waffle and Tootsie, when Skittles and Hershey are important enough to have warranted bios in the introduction. That said, those might be questions that get answered as the story progresses, and I’ve quite enjoyed what I’ve seen here. Looking forward to seeing how this progresses!
Hello Maddie! I love that you are doing the Jatakas Tales, I am doing my storybook over them as well. I look forward to seeing where you are going with it, I love how you are pulling in what looks like your own pets into the stories, that is going to be great to get to read and learn what all you are going to be doing with this. A couple of things I was thinking while reading is, could you show us the stories that you are going to be writing based off of? I overlook quite a few things, so I am hoping that I am not doing that now, but could you show us which ones those will be? Also could you give a bit more detail about the story that you will be doing? It didn't seem like to me that there was much detail regarding where you were going with it, just detail over each animal, which is great, but it would be great to know what exactly you are going to be doing with each character on their journey. Overall it is a great story and I am looking forward to getting to read it more in the coming weeks. Great Job!
Hi Maddie! If I remember right, I read your introduction and about your love for pets. You can really see you’re great perspective on animals through your writing. What a great idea to use such a widely loved topic as your portfolio influence. The best thing about this class is seeing how these ancient stories can be transformed into something completely different, while still keeping some of the same themes. I love the imagination and creativity behind your characters! The character introductions give a great picture of what they look like and what their personality is like. The characters are set up very well but it had me wondering what the main plot of the portfolio is? I am sure it is something just as creative as the characters! This will be fun to see what sort of adventures Waffle, Tootsie, Skittles, and Hersey embark on. I cannot wait to see how this turns out!
Your project looks really cute and interesting! I love the pictures of the animals on the intro banner. Are these your animals or did you make them up? Are you going to have four stories in your storybook- one about each animal? That is what it seems like you are trying to do and it seems like a good setup for what you want to accomplish! One thing I would suggest adding would be a description of how the animals are connected or related. How do they know each other? Will they go on adventures together? Maybe you could use the lengthening your story by 100 words editing trick and try to add in a little bit about the background of the animals before you describe their personalities. I like that you broke the paragraphs up to describe each animal- what if they had some sort of super power or mission that they have to learn about from the Buddha? There are a lot of things you can do with this story and it looks great so far!!
Hi, Maddie! I think this is a wonderful idea for a storybook, and I definitely like the idea of using your adorable pets as your muses and characters in your story. However, I was wondering where are you going with your story – what stories are you planning on telling? Currently, your introduction plays out to be a literal introduction of your characters, but does not expand or introduce much of the chapters to come. What if you rewrite your introduction in a different manner that would reflect your overall tone and storytelling style that you plan on using. Besides this, I do think you did a great job of introducing who Hershey, Skittle, Tootsie, and Waffle are, and your pictures definitely provides a cute visual of who we’re all about to read about! I can’t wait to see what their journey is and how they will all interact with each other!
Centering the stories around your pets the same way you do your weekly stories is such a cute idea! It’s a really great way of combining aspects of life that are very familiar to you with those that you may not know as much about. I’d really love it if your introduction told me a little bit more about what kind of stories are going to be in the storybook, though. I know you have that link to Jataka’s Tales of India, but I think it might be helpful if you gave kind of an overview of what sort of stories are going to be told. Will they be the kind of stories that are meant to teach lessons or will they simply be stories based on Indian lore and the gods and goddesses of the Hindu pantheon? I’d also like to know whether you’ll be basing your stories around the specific tales from Jataka’s Tales or if you’ll be telling your own stories with the same themes and basic ideas. Either way, this should be a fun storybook to read. Keep writing!
I loved the start of your second story! I totally relate to Tootsie! You never think someone will come in a disrupt your perfect family balance and then your sibling comes along. Overall, I really enjoyed your story. I think you did a great job of introducing the two dogs and their different personalities. One thing that I think you could add to make this story even better is some dialogue between the dogs. I know that dogs don’t talk, but it would be a fun way to see even more of there personalities if they communicated via barks! This would also allow you to show more sides of your dogs and make the overall story more dynamic! You did a great job and I cant wait to read more stories about your pets!
Hi Maddie, what a fun idea for a storybook! I really like how you are using your own pets at the main characters. This really helps the reader connect to both of the dogs, characters, equally. I ditto Katie's comment and think that some dialogue could really add to the depth of the characters! Also- I would recommend combing through and editing a little bit more. Your fourth sentence reads "Though she spent time with other dogs is when she occasionally stayed at the dog hotel" which is a fragment. I would suggest rephrasing to "The only experience she has with sharing spaces with other dogs is when we travel and have to take her to the dog hotel." Overall I love the creativity of your project and look forward to reading more of your stories!
Maddie, I really liked your introduction. I feel as though your introduction has been one of the most unique that I've read. I like how you take the time to elaborate on each character before you expound upon the tales and trials of their life. The biggest strength with the introduction is that you provide a background about each individual that I fell also allows for foreshadowing. Some of the descriptions made me wonder how the characteristics of each animal will play out in the installments, which I was able to see. Your story was very creative and realistic. One thing that I would suggest to add to your passage would be dialogue. I feel as though you could add depth to the characters by sharing their personal thoughts as well as how they interact with others. In the author's note, you explained the original story; however, I believe that you could also explain the relationship between the new characters and the old characters.
I loved reading your story! The introduction was helpful in getting an idea of what the story would be like. I liked that you turned these characters into pets. It was a cute touch to the story. I also liked that the format was easy to read. Each animal had its own description which was a good insight to who they were. I also liked the pictures that you added to your story book. I think the picture made it come alive even more. I think the author’s note could be a little more detailed of the story you based it on and the story we read and the relations. As well as, I think maybe in parentheses or something write the person that it is based on so that we can make a connection between the animal and the person that the animal actually represents. Overall, you did a really great job!
It is interesting how you are combining real life animals and combining them with the teachings of Buddha. Also, the way you are going about the story is a refresh. You have to rely a lot on the how you describe and tell about each of the animals, since you don't use speech, which is not a bad thing. Rather, you are doing quite well describing and explaining their personalities. You include a bit of their backgrounds and reasons for having their specific characteristics, which is perfect to do. I would like to see more of the minds of the animals by means of dialog or even what they are thinking. For myself, that would help with understanding and connecting with the characters.
I really love your storybook. The interesting part about the storybook you’ve created is that you’re actually using anecdotes from your own life to relate back to the pieces that you’ve read for class. Not only is this an excellent way to learn, it has shown itself to be a lovely way of communicating what you thought about the different stories you’ve come across. I also enjoy the fact that while I’m learning about stories from Indian tradition, I am also provided with an opportunity to learn more about the author of the piece. These stories were beyond adorable and reminded me of some of the adventures I have had with my own pets throughout the years and their vibrant personalities. I loved reading your stories, and I really hope that I have the chance to read your final story once it is finished! I can’t wait to see how you choose to conclude the adventures of these lovable little furballs.
Maddie, I love that you write about your beloved little furkids. The last time I got to check out your project was during introduction week, so I read through the first installment also. I noticed a typo in the author’s note. When you are describing The Elephant Girly-Face, you wrote that she was influenced by a “bad” of robbers she overheard talking. I believe in this part of the sentence you meant to write “band” of robbers because later you describe them as “bad.” Your second installment about Hershey makes me smile. I read through some of the elephant jataka tales when deciding what to write about for our projects, and The King’s White Elephant is one of them. I agree that this story goes well with it. One grammatical issue I noticed was the sentence about your brother and you being the masters of convincing. I think it should be “my brother and I” but I am not a total expert so don’t take my word on this. Great stories about your babies!
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ReplyDeleteI loved your introduction. The idea of making the characters we have been reading about into pets is fantastic. Everyone loves cute animals and this is a good way to use that. I was immediately drawn into your intro and wanted to read more about each character. The description of each pet was great as well. I liked how they each got a paragraph that briefly and concisely explained who they were. I may adapt this strategy into my own introduction. I liked the pictures you included but I wanted more. It would have taken extra time but it would have been nice to see a picture of each pet next to its information. I would have also liked to see which character they relate to. Overall this was a great intro and I cannot wait to read about these animals and the adventures they go on
ReplyDeleteMaddie, when looking for an extra storybook to read, the title of yours caught my eye. I was thinking the title might be refereeing to animals and I was very excited to find out I was right. The pictures of your cat and dogs are too cute and I am excited to read about their adventures. I loved you descriptions of the personalities of Hershey, Skittle, Tootsie, and Waffle. Each animal really seems to have their own personality and background and I think their interactions and adventures together will make for an extremely cute storybook. I really like the layout of your storybook. I think it is very sleek and I am so glad you included the pictures of your animals and I hope you continue to add more in your future additions since they are so stinking cute. I also think your use of Buddha in teaching life lessons to the animal crew will be an adorable way to teach and explain the lessons Buddha taught.
ReplyDeleteHi Maddie, I wonder if you like animals? Just kidding, I can see by your story that you are very passionate about your animals. I see also that you speak about them as if they were part of your family. If they could speak, I wonder what your animals would say? Wouldn’t it add a little spice to the story if you told us about the animals and then flipped the story into a dialog between the dog and the cats. Perhaps contradicting what the owner was saying to give the reader a cheap laugh. Also, I failed to see how you were incorporating the life of a Buddha into the characters. I thought that you were eluding to that in the beginning so my mind started to race about what animals would be thinking. If cats and dogs could be enlightened, what would their meditation exercises look like, or sound like? Just a thought, thanks for sharing your story though, very interesting.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite things about this class is seeing how such old stories can be spun off into so many different directions, and I love that the direction you’re taking your storybook in seems like so much fun. You did a great job of setting each animal apart with a distinct personality and background; I’m not sure if each story will focus on a different animal or if they’ll get to interact with each other as a group, but if it’s that last option, I imagine the clash of personalities would make for an entertaining time. While I loved the introduction to the characters, I don’t really feel like I was introduced to what I should expect from the story itself, or that the stage was set for Buddha to appear and impart his wisdom. I was also curious why it was titled after only Waffle and Tootsie, when Skittles and Hershey are important enough to have warranted bios in the introduction. That said, those might be questions that get answered as the story progresses, and I’ve quite enjoyed what I’ve seen here. Looking forward to seeing how this progresses!
ReplyDeleteHello Maddie! I love that you are doing the Jatakas Tales, I am doing my storybook over them as well. I look forward to seeing where you are going with it, I love how you are pulling in what looks like your own pets into the stories, that is going to be great to get to read and learn what all you are going to be doing with this. A couple of things I was thinking while reading is, could you show us the stories that you are going to be writing based off of? I overlook quite a few things, so I am hoping that I am not doing that now, but could you show us which ones those will be? Also could you give a bit more detail about the story that you will be doing? It didn't seem like to me that there was much detail regarding where you were going with it, just detail over each animal, which is great, but it would be great to know what exactly you are going to be doing with each character on their journey. Overall it is a great story and I am looking forward to getting to read it more in the coming weeks. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHi Maddie! If I remember right, I read your introduction and about your love for pets. You can really see you’re great perspective on animals through your writing. What a great idea to use such a widely loved topic as your portfolio influence. The best thing about this class is seeing how these ancient stories can be transformed into something completely different, while still keeping some of the same themes. I love the imagination and creativity behind your characters! The character introductions give a great picture of what they look like and what their personality is like. The characters are set up very well but it had me wondering what the main plot of the portfolio is? I am sure it is something just as creative as the characters! This will be fun to see what sort of adventures Waffle, Tootsie, Skittles, and Hersey embark on. I cannot wait to see how this turns out!
ReplyDeleteYour project looks really cute and interesting! I love the pictures of the animals on the intro banner. Are these your animals or did you make them up? Are you going to have four stories in your storybook- one about each animal? That is what it seems like you are trying to do and it seems like a good setup for what you want to accomplish! One thing I would suggest adding would be a description of how the animals are connected or related. How do they know each other? Will they go on adventures together? Maybe you could use the lengthening your story by 100 words editing trick and try to add in a little bit about the background of the animals before you describe their personalities. I like that you broke the paragraphs up to describe each animal- what if they had some sort of super power or mission that they have to learn about from the Buddha? There are a lot of things you can do with this story and it looks great so far!!
ReplyDeleteHi, Maddie! I think this is a wonderful idea for a storybook, and I definitely like the idea of using your adorable pets as your muses and characters in your story. However, I was wondering where are you going with your story – what stories are you planning on telling? Currently, your introduction plays out to be a literal introduction of your characters, but does not expand or introduce much of the chapters to come. What if you rewrite your introduction in a different manner that would reflect your overall tone and storytelling style that you plan on using. Besides this, I do think you did a great job of introducing who Hershey, Skittle, Tootsie, and Waffle are, and your pictures definitely provides a cute visual of who we’re all about to read about! I can’t wait to see what their journey is and how they will all interact with each other!
ReplyDeleteCentering the stories around your pets the same way you do your weekly stories is such a cute idea! It’s a really great way of combining aspects of life that are very familiar to you with those that you may not know as much about. I’d really love it if your introduction told me a little bit more about what kind of stories are going to be in the storybook, though. I know you have that link to Jataka’s Tales of India, but I think it might be helpful if you gave kind of an overview of what sort of stories are going to be told. Will they be the kind of stories that are meant to teach lessons or will they simply be stories based on Indian lore and the gods and goddesses of the Hindu pantheon? I’d also like to know whether you’ll be basing your stories around the specific tales from Jataka’s Tales or if you’ll be telling your own stories with the same themes and basic ideas. Either way, this should be a fun storybook to read. Keep writing!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI loved the start of your second story! I totally relate to Tootsie! You never think someone will come in a disrupt your perfect family balance and then your sibling comes along. Overall, I really enjoyed your story. I think you did a great job of introducing the two dogs and their different personalities. One thing that I think you could add to make this story even better is some dialogue between the dogs. I know that dogs don’t talk, but it would be a fun way to see even more of there personalities if they communicated via barks! This would also allow you to show more sides of your dogs and make the overall story more dynamic! You did a great job and I cant wait to read more stories about your pets!
Hi Maddie, what a fun idea for a storybook! I really like how you are using your own pets at the main characters. This really helps the reader connect to both of the dogs, characters, equally. I ditto Katie's comment and think that some dialogue could really add to the depth of the characters! Also- I would recommend combing through and editing a little bit more. Your fourth sentence reads "Though she spent time with other dogs is when she occasionally stayed at the dog hotel" which is a fragment. I would suggest rephrasing to "The only experience she has with sharing spaces with other dogs is when we travel and have to take her to the dog hotel." Overall I love the creativity of your project and look forward to reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteMaddie, I really liked your introduction. I feel as though your introduction has been one of the most unique that I've read. I like how you take the time to elaborate on each character before you expound upon the tales and trials of their life. The biggest strength with the introduction is that you provide a background about each individual that I fell also allows for foreshadowing. Some of the descriptions made me wonder how the characteristics of each animal will play out in the installments, which I was able to see. Your story was very creative and realistic. One thing that I would suggest to add to your passage would be dialogue. I feel as though you could add depth to the characters by sharing their personal thoughts as well as how they interact with others. In the author's note, you explained the original story; however, I believe that you could also explain the relationship between the new characters and the old characters.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story! The introduction was helpful in getting an idea of what the story would be like. I liked that you turned these characters into pets. It was a cute touch to the story. I also liked that the format was easy to read. Each animal had its own description which was a good insight to who they were. I also liked the pictures that you added to your story book. I think the picture made it come alive even more. I think the author’s note could be a little more detailed of the story you based it on and the story we read and the relations. As well as, I think maybe in parentheses or something write the person that it is based on so that we can make a connection between the animal and the person that the animal actually represents. Overall, you did a really great job!
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how you are combining real life animals and combining them with the teachings of Buddha. Also, the way you are going about the story is a refresh. You have to rely a lot on the how you describe and tell about each of the animals, since you don't use speech, which is not a bad thing. Rather, you are doing quite well describing and explaining their personalities. You include a bit of their backgrounds and reasons for having their specific characteristics, which is perfect to do. I would like to see more of the minds of the animals by means of dialog or even what they are thinking. For myself, that would help with understanding and connecting with the characters.
ReplyDeleteAll around, good story.
I really love your storybook. The interesting part about the storybook you’ve created is that you’re actually using anecdotes from your own life to relate back to the pieces that you’ve read for class. Not only is this an excellent way to learn, it has shown itself to be a lovely way of communicating what you thought about the different stories you’ve come across. I also enjoy the fact that while I’m learning about stories from Indian tradition, I am also provided with an opportunity to learn more about the author of the piece. These stories were beyond adorable and reminded me of some of the adventures I have had with my own pets throughout the years and their vibrant personalities. I loved reading your stories, and I really hope that I have the chance to read your final story once it is finished! I can’t wait to see how you choose to conclude the adventures of these lovable little furballs.
ReplyDeleteMaddie,
ReplyDeleteI love that you write about your beloved little furkids. The last time I got to check out your project was during introduction week, so I read through the first installment also. I noticed a typo in the author’s note. When you are describing The Elephant Girly-Face, you wrote that she was influenced by a “bad” of robbers she overheard talking. I believe in this part of the sentence you meant to write “band” of robbers because later you describe them as “bad.” Your second installment about Hershey makes me smile. I read through some of the elephant jataka tales when deciding what to write about for our projects, and The King’s White Elephant is one of them. I agree that this story goes well with it. One grammatical issue I noticed was the sentence about your brother and you being the masters of convincing. I think it should be “my brother and I” but I am not a total expert so don’t take my word on this. Great stories about your babies!