Storytelling Week 10: Mischievous Pups
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| The two trouble making pups (Image by Me). |
For as long as one might remember Waffle the corgi and Tootsie the mutt have coexisted in the same household with a seventeen year old boy named Evan. Evan allowed them to stay and eat the food that he makes as long as they are respectful of their surroundings. They have always agreed to not chew or make a mess of the house because they knew that Evan was the one who was in charge.
One weekend Evan decided that he wanted to go on a little weekend vacation and knew that he would have to leave the house to the dogs for the weekend. He had never done this before but figured that they had coexisted long enough to be trusted to spend the weekend alone in the house. Evan never figured that there would be any problems with the two spending the weekend alone.
Two days before his big weekend vacation Evan had decided to make some banana bread, he asked the dogs to watch over the banana bread while he was away because it was a gift for his mothers birthday.
"Tootsie I know you are the older and more responsible one so will you please watch over this banana bread? It is for moms birthday and it is one of her favorite parts of her birthday each year so make sure nothing happens to it," Evan said.
Tootsie stared at him seeming to understand exactly what he was saying. Evan glanced at Waffle to see if she had been paying attention and of course she had not been.
"Waffle this banana bread is absolutely off limits, it must be here in perfect condition when I get back! This is so important to mom and I know you do not want to be the reason mom is upset she does not get her favorite birthday present," Evan said to Waffle.
The dogs seemed to somewhat comprehend and pay attention to the things that Evan was saying to them before he left for his trip.
His moms birthday fell the day he returned from his trip and the two dogs knew how important that day was for him. So Evan went on his way for vacation leaving the dogs at home to watch over the house and the precious banana bread.
Two days, that was the length of Evans trip away. As he returned Sunday night he was excited to get back to his home and his delicious banana bread. Much to his shock the second he walked in the door he knew something was wrong, the house was a mess and the dogs looked guiltier than ever before. The dogs had destroyed the house, there were feathers from the pillows everywhere. The last thing Evan thought would happen is that his banana bread would be gone, but indeed it was. The dogs had completely disregarded everything Evan had asked of them and everything Evan had ever done for them. Evan was more hurt that they did not seem to care about moms birthday because she does so much for them. Waffle and Tootsie could see the disappointment in Evans face the second he realized that the banana bread was gone.
Authors Note
This story is inspired by a story from the The Giant Crab and Other Tales from Old India. The story that I decided to use as inspiration was The Monkeys and the Gardener. The mischievous monkeys in this story betray the gardener that gives them fruit and food and allows them to live in his garden.
Hi Maddie, I saw you started this story; if you didn't have time to finish it (it's short right now), then you can finish it for next week.
ReplyDeleteHi Maddie,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a clever story! I like the different elements you bring into it from the names of the characters you have chosen to the plot line and details. I am glad that you were able to write an Author's Note to let the readers know where you got this inspiration from. However, I think this story would make more sense to readers if they knew maybe a little more details about how you went about making this story different from the original and what the similarities were. But, I really liked getting to read this story! Nice job!
Your story is really cute and I like that you use your animals as inspiration to create a new spin for your story. Your story is also sweet and to the point without it seeming like you are trying to drag it on. The way you began your story and the way it ended was strong and flowed nicely. I would be interested in reading some more of your stories to see how you incorporate animals as a way of depicting different Indian Epics writings.
ReplyDeleteHi Maddie. I like that you wrote a story about dogs! The ending was kind of sad because the dogs let Evan and their mom down. I think it would be really interesting if you chose to continue the story and wrote about how they made it up to Evan and fix their mistakes! Good job on the story though!
ReplyDeleteSo I just read your introduction and learned about your dogs and now you are writing a story about them. That is so cute! I like how you were able to switch up the story to something relatable and modern. It really shows off your creativity. I kind of feel bad for Evan at the end of the story!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing
Maddie your story was very unique and like that aspect. I noticed you were able to let your love for dogs to be expressed in this story by having them as the main characters. Furthermore, I like the bond you described between the dogs, Evan, and his mother. I would like to know how Evan dealt with not having banana bread for his mom's birthday. Will he have time to make a new one? is he going to punish Waffle and Tootsie?
ReplyDeleteHi Maddie, I really liked this story! It was cute that you incorporated your love for pups into your writing, it's always good when you can write about something that you're passionate about! And it shows!! The author's note also helps bring it all together. I also enjoyed your use of dialogue. I always like dialogue because it helps me personally connect to the story with the characters when I "hear" them speak and sort of see their personality come out. Great job!
ReplyDelete